Happy Hallowine!
All Hallow's Eve is almost upon us; the time when ghosts and ghouls roam the land. We must therefore arm ourselves with appropriate wine to fight off these beasties and the vampyres and zombies. Here's a selection of "Hallowines" which will help protect you in your fight against all things evil.
Charles Smith The Velvet Devil Merlot
Yes, this wine will help in your fight against demonic beings (with the exception of real demons obviously, Ed.). The smooth tannins and velvety fruit are more than a match for fire and brimstone. And the finish will put paid to the hardiest of vampyres and all things so hideous they are impossible to describe. View.
The Wolftrap Red
Perfect foil for werewolves. It's like a silver bullet to them. One glass will protect you from their gnashing teeth and beastly bloodlust due to the presence of Mourvedre in the blend. A whole bottle will however, turn you into a werewolf, so please be careful. View.
Vinaceous The Snake Charmer Shiraz
We all know that snakes are inherently evil (see the Bible and Harry Potter books). So to ward them off you must have this rich and spicy wine at your disposal. It's vitally important. Nay, it's absolutely essential. One glass per snake. View.
Mitolo The Jester Cabernet Sauvignon
Jesters are old clowns and we all know that clowns are demonically evil. The richness and supple tannins in this wine, married with the blackcurrant and cedar notes will however, when carefully poured into a clowns bucket, ready to throw on another clown, take care of these harbingers of evil. View.
Felicette Grenache Blanc
Cats are witches' familiars. And witches are mostly evil. Therefore this delightfully fresh and fruity southern French wine must be consumed (one glass per witch/cat) in order to protect you from their powers. View.
So there you have it. Five wines to help to keep you safe this Halloween. Hallowine. I'm all punned out. Until next time,
Dr. Gray